10 Places You Shouldn’t Store Condoms

• Your wallet– This can tear and deteriorate the condom.
• In my roommate Steve’s room– He’ll eat them.
• Your aquarium– The water will damage the condom and the fish will use them before you can.
• The glove box of your car– If pulled over, a cop will see them when you get your registration and then you’ll have to have sex with the cop. That’s the law.
• Near your dog’s food– The dog will try to eat them, but Steve will beat him to it.
• Behind the framed picture of your mom– That wouldn’t be right. Your mom hated condoms, hence why you’re alive.
• In a church– Condoms burst into flames inside a house of God. Plus, Steve’s a priest, so he’ll probably be there and eat them.
• On the back of the Mona Lisa– You’ll need to assemble a heist team every time you want to have sex. Plus, it’s in France, where condoms aren’t allowed.
• In Steve’s mouth– You know why.
• On your penis– Condoms should never be near a penis. It ruins them.

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